Your Shortcut to Inner Peace & Transformation: The Mirror Exercise

Have you ever noticed how certain situations or people trigger you over and over again? Maybe a friend says something that stings, or your partner doesn’t seem to understand you, and suddenly you’re upset. Most of us are taught to point the finger outward: to believe the reason we feel this way is because of what someone else did.

But what if there’s a way to use these moments to actually feel better and heal what’s underneath the upset feeling? That’s where the mirror exercise comes in.

This is a simple 4-step tool you can use any time you feel upset. Instead of staying stuck in blame, it helps you understand what’s really going on inside, and most importantly, it gives you a way to give yourself the love and care you’ve been needing.

Why it Works

The idea is simple: your outer world often reflects what’s happening in your inner world. When you get upset with someone, it’s usually pointing to a place inside where you’ve been ignoring yourself, criticising yourself, or not giving yourself enough love.

By identifying that part of you and giving it what it needs, you stop the cycle of pain and start to feel whole again.

A Gentle Note

The mirror exercise is not about excusing harmful behaviour, tolerating mistreatment, or blaming yourself for what others do. You aren’t responsible for anyone’s actions and beliefs except your own.

This is simply a tool to help you restore your inner peace by meeting your own needs with love. Healthy boundaries and self-respect are always important in every relationship.

The 4 Steps of the Mirror Exercise

Step 1: Write down what upsets you in a short sentence.
For example: “I’m angry at my friend because she ignored me.”

Step 2: Switch the pronouns so the statement points back to you.
“I’m angry at myself because I ignored me.”

Step 3: Ask yourself if this feels true.
Maybe you realise, “Yes, I ignore my own needs. I don’t always speak up for myself. This has led me to feel angry and frustrated.”

Step 4: Ask what this part of you needs to feel loved.
Close your eyes and listen. Maybe you’ll hear, “I need reassurance that I matter. I need to feel supported.”
Then give yourself that love: through kind words, a hug, or even just taking a moment to breathe and comfort yourself.

An Example in Action

Step 1: “I’m upset with my partner because (s)he doesn’t listen to me.”

Step 2: “I’m upset with myself because I don’t listen to me.”

Step 3: Is it true? “Yes. I often ignore my own feelings until I’m overwhelmed. I feel I need to push through the discomfort because I don’t feel like I matter enough.”

Step 4: What do I need? “I need to feel heard. I need to remind myself that my feelings are valid and that I deserve the time and space to process them.”

Take a moment to offer that love to yourself. You might journal, speak kindly to yourself, or even imagine giving your inner child a warm hug.

What Happens After You Do It

Many people feel light and peaceful after completing these steps. Sometimes, though, you may feel old emotions coming up for a while, such as grief or anger. This is simply your mind and body releasing what no longer serves you. It’s normal, and it passes.

The more often you practice the mirror exercise, the easier it becomes. Over time, it changes how you relate to yourself and others. You’ll find you’re less reactive, more compassionate, and better able to set healthy boundaries. That will happen because you’ve learned how to meet your own needs with love, and you no longer see the point in settling for breadcrumbs.

Final Thoughts

Healing doesn’t have to be complicated. The mirror exercise is proof that even the hardest feelings can be softened when you bring love to the parts of yourself that need it most.

The next time you find yourself upset with someone, try this simple 4-step process. Instead of spiralling in blame or self-doubt, you’ll discover that you already hold the key to feeling better by turning inward and giving yourself the love you deserve.

Keep the Momentum Going...

If you found the mirror exercise helpful, here are a few ways to continue nurturing yourself:

Connect with community: Twin Flames Universe: Open Forum is a welcoming space to explore deeper self-love, learn how to attract the love you truly deserve, and connect with others on this same path.

Follow along on Instagram for daily insights, gentle reminders, and practical tips on creating the love life of your dreams.

Work with me one-on-one: Book a discovery call and receive personalised support to gently release old patterns and open your heart to deeper love.

About Christine

Christine is a Twin Flame in Union and Certified Ascension Coach with Twin Flames Universe.